I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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