turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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