Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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