wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
