Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
