All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize