What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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