Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
