You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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