I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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