the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize