we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
