babies were throwing up all over the place
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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