cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
time to smoke my breakfast
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
