I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
