i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My cat gives me a boner
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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