I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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