my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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