hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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