fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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