There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
