On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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