The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
