I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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