I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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