new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
