I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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