I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
