508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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