Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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