Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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