READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
