And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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