omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
