one might say we're banned from that church
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the day after is always just damage control
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
