Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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