How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
love makes seman taste better
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
