Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
