new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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