He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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