What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
we're so committed to being not committed
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
