the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
