I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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