please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
