I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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