Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
