sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize