put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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