WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
