The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
