I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
