Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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