everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize