He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
