There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
love makes seman taste better
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
