the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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