So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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