Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
