This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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