Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize