i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
