i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
