I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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