meet me or not, i'm out of control
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
