fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
