It's Friday. Sex?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
my shit smells like andre
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
