dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I will be naked everywhere
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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