Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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