Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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