I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
