It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize