my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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