Duck Duck Cougar?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
