im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize